It’s Not You—It’s the Shade
Why Your Best Colors Might Be Hiding—and How to Find Them Again
The Color Shift No One Talks About
There was this moment on a Zoom call—not long ago—where I caught my reflection and thought,
“Why do I look… off?”
I wasn’t tired.
I wasn’t sick.
I’d actually slept well and put on concealer for once.
But something in my face looked… dulled. Dimmed.
And I couldn’t figure out why.
For a while, I blamed my lighting. Then my haircut.
Then maybe just the fact that I was 46 and tired of trying.
But eventually, I realized it was the color I was wearing.
When Getting Dressed Stops Feeling Simple
There comes a point where what used to work… doesn’t.
You buy a blouse in a color you’ve worn for years.
You put it on, and suddenly your skin looks sallow, your eyes lose their spark, and your whole energy just feels a little… flat.
It’s not that you suddenly aged out of style.
It’s not that you forgot how to dress.
It’s that your coloring changed—and your closet didn’t get the memo.
What Actually Happens After 40
No one really talks about this.
But after 40, everything softens.
Your hair lightens or cools.
Your skin shifts tones—less contrast, more subtlety.
Your eyes may even change slightly in depth or clarity.
These changes are normal. They’re not flaws. They’re not problems.
They just are.
But if your wardrobe and makeup stay stuck in who you were 10 years ago?
That’s when things start to feel out of step.
It’s Not About the Clothes—It’s the Color
Here’s what I’ve learned:
You can have a beautiful sweater, a gorgeous lipstick, the perfect dress—and still feel off in all of them.
Not because they’re wrong.
But because the color doesn’t feel like it belongs to you anymore.
And when that happens?
It’s easy to turn the frustration inward.
To think I’ve lost it, or maybe this is just what aging looks like.
But it’s not that. Truly.
It’s just that the colors that used to support your face and your energy have quietly stopped showing up for you.
Color Is a Mirror
When a color is right, your whole face softens.
Your features lift.
Your skin looks a little clearer.
Your eyes a little brighter.
And most importantly—you feel more like yourself.
There’s a kind of exhale that happens.
Not look at me energy.
More like oh, there I am.
And that tiny shift can change everything.
Why Some Colors Stop Working
We’ve all had that moment—walking through a store, seeing something in a rich jewel tone or a chic neutral. You love it. It looks amazing on the hanger.
You try it on…
And suddenly, you look a little washed out. A little tired. Like your reflection can’t quite catch up with you.
That’s not your fault.
That’s just a signal: this color isn’t yours anymore.
It’s no different than knowing a silhouette doesn’t flatter your shape. It’s not about value. It’s about fit.
And color? Is one of the most intimate kinds of fit there is.
How I Started Paying Attention
It wasn’t dramatic.
It was slow.
Certain outfits started to make me feel heavier—not physically, but energetically.
Certain lipsticks made me look like I’d just eaten something questionable.
My “safe” colors suddenly made me feel invisible.
I realized I was working against myself. Trying to force colors to do what they used to do, even though I’d clearly changed.
And the moment I let go of that?
Getting dressed got easier.
Not flashier. Not more styled.
Just easier.
The Shift Is Subtle, But Powerful
What I want now—more than ever—is ease.
Not in a lazy way. In a this-makes-sense-to-my-body-and-my-life way.
I want to wear colors that feel like they belong to this version of me.
Not the one I was ten years ago.
Not the one someone else thinks I should be.
Just me—now.
I’m not interested in being trendy.
I’m not chasing some ideal of “youthful.”
I just want to show up feeling like myself.
Because when I do, I carry myself differently.
And I don’t waste energy wondering what’s “off.”
This Isn’t About Reinvention
It’s about recognition.
Noticing that your face hasn’t disappeared—it’s just asking for something different now.
And that’s not a loss.
It’s a return.
A quiet coming back to the woman you’ve become.
And honestly? She’s worth seeing clearly.